


The Morning After His Birthday

by whendidthisshowbecomemylife



Category: Shingeki no Kyojin | Attack on Titan
Genre: Confessions, Cute, Fluff, Happy, Love Confessions, M/M, POV First Person, POV Male Character
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2014-05-14
Updated: 2014-05-14
Packaged: 2018-01-24 17:45:06
Rating: Not Rated
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 6,477
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/1613786
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/whendidthisshowbecomemylife/pseuds/whendidthisshowbecomemylife
Summary: <blockquote class="userstuff">
              <p>After one and a half years of being in love with his best friend, Reiner Braun decides enough is enough and confesses, knowing it could ruin their life-long friendship.</p>
            </blockquote>





	The Morning After His Birthday

We sit on the couch in silence, with its soft fabric broken by individual sighs of relief as we look back on the events of the night. It’s Bertholdt’s 20th birthday – or the morning after his birthday, to be precise. Bertholdt and I had been best friends for as long as I can remember. When we were just infants our parents would bring us along whenever they would have dinner at each others’ houses, and when we grew to an age where we became more independent, we began arranging to play together by ourselves. Then, when we went to school, we went to the same one. We had most classes together, all the way from elementary school to high school. It wasn’t as much of a coincidence as one could think. I was always big, being an avid sports player, and the pleasure I took out of working myself to exhaustion at the gym was evident on me. I never considered myself to be intimidating, and I pride myself in believing no one else ever found me so. I always made it a point to befriend everyone, at least to a certain degree. If they didn’t seem interested in a friendship with me, I still made sure to smile when I passed them in the hallway and greet them after longer holidays, even if they never returned my enthusiasm. I enjoyed the belief that maybe, just maybe, if someone had been having a bad day they could still be comforted by the fact that that weird Reiner Braun kid smiled at them that day. Yeah, it was naive, I know that. I’m actually not as dumb as people think. I had a fair bit of trouble in high school because I would mess around instead of working, but that’s where Bertholdt comes in.  
People always wondered at Bertholdt. He’d always been incredibly tall and his voice deep – I found the sound of his voice soothing, but that may be because I still remember what he sounded like when we were six and how excited he was when his voice started breaking in middle school. It was the one time I ever told him to shut up, and that was because he literally would not stop talking, just to hear what his ‚new’ voice sounded like. Ever since our first year in high school, everyone I’ve ever heard talking about Bertholdt always said he was impressive. And believe me, he is. He was always reserved, but never shy. He took pleasure out of watching people and interpreting them in his own way, and there was rarely a time when he was wrong. He has dark skin – well, at least compared to mine – and eyes the colour of moss. Honestly, his eyes are absolutely mesmerizing and they never cease to surprise me. As much as Bertholdt may stick to himself a lot of the time, his eyes are always like tiny cracks in his shell through which his soul spills out. They shimmer and sparkle and widen and spark with life depending on how he’s feeling and it’s a beautiful thing to see. I’ve always been able to read him by his eyes, which gave us the nickname of Telepathy Twins in high school. The most important thing anyone could ever need to know about Bertholdt is that he loves to learn. Whatever it is, as long as it’s new, he’s passionate about it. He always sat paying attention in class, making notes ahead and additional reading at home. He never did it for the grades, his straight A record simply came from the fact that he took pleasure in gaining new skills. Since we always sat together in lessons (because there was no one who I enjoyed spending time with nearly as much as him), I limited my disruptiveness in class so as not to bother him, which made teachers see him as a good influence on me. So we went through our entire school careers sitting together at a desk in pretty much every class.  
Spending your entire life with someone really brings you together. It sounds obvious, but it really isn’t – I never possibly imagined how much this boy would impact my life, and it’s not just because I have been madly in love with him for the past one and a half years. There was always something about him that calmed me down and energized me at the same time. My best friend was fit and toned (he often joined me at the gym, although more to support me mentally as I overstrained my body repeatedly), but even his broad shoulders couldn’t mask the fact that I was definitely more potentially intimidating than he was. He has delicate hands with long thin fingers and a curved jaw that exposed his more prominent cheek bones. My jaw is sharp around the edges, my eyes deep-set in my skull, my fingers short and definitely not as appealing as his. You could say I was more masculine than he was but there were a number of ways in which this was hilariously false. I think I’ll always be a bit childish and far too loud for my own good. I often say things without thinking them through first and then burst into fits of rumbling nervous laughter that sound more like a pitbull’s barks than anything else. I dance around when I find something to be happy about, which is a lot of the time, and I’ll do silly things like zone out while I’m walking and walk right into a tree. I’m emotional, although I don’t ever let it show unless I’m alone or just with my best friend. Bertholdt, however, would only ever make well thought-out remarks in that husky deep voice of his, his ability to conceal his sass from people who didn’t know him well enough to expect it always impeccable. Due to his height, he always looked down on other people, including myself, from under his dark chocolate bangs that fell on his forehead in an effortlessly neat curtain. Because of this, and because of his maturity and ability to recognize what was worth his time and heart and what wasn’t, people were always far more intimidated by him than by my impressive pectorals. I was the loud blond dude who no one could take seriously, best friend of the impressive Bertholdt that everyone had more respect for than they did for the school principal. And neither of us would have had it any other way.   
The kid knows everything about me. Hell, he probably knows more about me than I do. I like to think I know an equal amount about him, although I learn new things everyday. I did know enough to know that the way he wanted to celebrate his 20th birthday was by having a simple guys’ night at our apartment, drinking beer and watching a movie that left everyone except Bertholdt confused as to what it actually meant. He in no way enjoyed being the only one to understand, he simply took bliss in having learnt something new and hoped his friends would share the experience. I knew that much. So here we are, sitting on the couch of our apartment, because even though we hadn’t drunk enough the previous night to be hungover or stayed up late enough to be exhausted, I could tell my friend was still tired from the effort he made to be a bit more open than he normally was to show his friends that he appreciated their company on his special day.   
Our comfortable silence was rudely interrupted by a sound that was new to us this morning – the colossal yelping growl my stomach made in an effort to communicate its emptiness. Bertholdt turned his head to look at me with his green eyes widened in amusement. I chuckled deeply and leaned forward in my seat. „Breakfast?“ I questioned. He grinned at me in a way that only I recognized as a sign of his incoming sass. „I’m pretty sure you’ve already made that decision, Reiner“. I chuckled again as I heaved myself off the couch and trudged swiftly to the little kitchen area on the other side of the living room. „What do you want?“ I called behind my shoulder, „We have cereal, cereal with milk and milk.“ I jumped as I felt a hot sigh spilling out onto my shoulder. I could know the guy for centuries and the one thing that would always startle me was how quickly and fucking silently the kid moved. He smiled softly at my reaction, blatantly taking pride in knowing that he could still surprise me, and said, „Guess“.   
I turned away quickly and started fidgeting with the bowls, setting them onto the cluttered counter and shaking cereal out of the box into them as he moved away. Okay, so there were more things about Bertholdt that would always startle me, it’s just that they’ve only started doing so recently. One of them was how good he smelled, no matter what the situation. We could move into the sewers and he’d still smell absolutely amazing. He had an aroma somewhat like fresh bread and a forest right after rain. It’s not something that you’d find in an Axe can, but believe me it’s not something you forget, especially not when the source of this amazing smell startles you by gently pressing against you, completely oblivious to the growing blush in your cheeks and ticklish feeling you get in your sides and in your stomach that makes you want to double over and squeal in excitement. Another thing that’s accompanied the crush that soon developed into full on Shakespearian love is the inability to handle physical contact. Bertholdt is actually a huge sucker for affection – his parents always worked a lot and were usually too tired to play with him when he was a kid. I was always the one person he ever made an exception for when it came to him being distanced and reserved. Whenever Bertholdt had a bad dream, he’d go over to my house and crawl into my bed. Fuck, he still does that when he has trouble sleeping, and it doesn’t end there. He absolutely, undeniably adores cuddling. He fucking lives for those rare cuddles during a movie night or when he can’t keep his eyes closed for long enough to slip into a dream. Really, the way he pressed up against my back just then should not have been a surprise at all. He always endulges in these miniature acts of affection, and I’ve always loved to return them, even just to see how his eyes light up and how his shoulders fall a bit as he loosens up. But ever since my feelings started developing, it’s not the same for me. Every time I touch his arm or back or hug him spontaneously, which I know he enjoys a lot, I’m entirely aware of every bit of him. I can feel the texture of his shirt under my skin and the shape of his muscles underneath his clothing. The sound of his breathing and his voice feels like he’s yelling through a megaphone right into my skull, and although that sounds unpleasant, it’s fucking great. But I always get scared and pull away. What if he can tell that I’m not touching him how I have our entire lives? He knows me so well after all. He knows I never used to blush or get flustered around him. Honetly, it’s a miracle he hasn’t noticed yet! Or has he? Oh my god, has he???   
„Reiner,“ he wails from the table, „what the fuck are you doing, I’m starving over here“. Shit, I totally zoned out. I finish preparing our breakfast, and walk to the living room, grabbing two spoons on the way. Bertholdt is sitting at the little table with his elbows on the surface in front of him. He rolls his eyes at me as I mumble an apology for taking so long and hand him his food. I sit across from him and we eat in a comfortable silence, arising not from a lack of topic to talk about but from a lack of need to talk. I’m perfectly aware that he is wearing nothing more than a t-shirt and the sweatpants he sleeps in, of course. Just like I’m perfectly aware of how his slender fingers grip his metal spoon and how his hair is unbrushed and a bit messy, but in the most adorable way possible. He always looks so fresh in the mornings, right after a good night’s sleep, before he’s had to interact with anyone who isn’t me and put his little wall up. I make sure I’m not staring at him and go back to slurping the milky cereal off my spoon.   
I’m also painfully aware of what I had planned for today. Admittedly, I hadn’t been exactly sober when I had made my decision, but it had already been on my mind for a while beforehand. I’d taken weeks to plan how I was going to tell my best friend that I was totally, irrefutably, hopelessly gay for him. I was running on the hope that he wouldn’t stop being friends with me or be awkward with me, but just take care to limit the physical contact or something. I don’t even know what I want from this, I just know that keeping quiet about it is too hard to take.  
Bertholdt finishes his bowl at about the same time that I finish mine. He pushes his chair a little bit away from the table and lifts his arms over his head in a graceful stretch, and his muscles flex under his shirt and his toned stomach is showing, and that’s the moment I decide that my plan has to be executed as soon as humanly possible. I have to hang my head at an awkward angle to stop myself from staring at his body moving and the last thing I need right now is to get a boner. He gets up and gestures to my bowl, silently offering to wash it for me, but I stand up, determined to get this over and done with, and place his own bowl back on the table. „Reiner, we have to wash these,“ he says, cocking an eyebrow at me, but I gently grab his forearm and tell him I’ll do it later. He stares at me, confused, but I don’t let go as I softly guide him to the couch we had left just twenty minutes earlier. He’s looking at me with a face painted with utter bewilderment now. „Reiner, what’s wrong? You’re freaking me out a little,“ he mumbles, and I can tell he’s worried by the tone of his voice and how wide his eyes are.   
My plan had been to finalize celebrating his birthday by cuddling on the couch for a little bit, like we sometimes do, under the pretext of it being a birthday privelage. Then I was going to offer to take him to the new museum opening that I knew he was dying (but too broke) to see. Then I would make him dinner and tell him how I feel. Naturally, I know immediately that none of that is going to happen – except for the last part. So I stare at him as his green eyes glisten with curiosity and worry and finally let go of his arm. I clasp my hands together on my knees and look down, far too nervous to look him in the eyes. I clear my throat. „Bertl,“ I start with the nickname I only use for him in private, „you’ve been my best friend forever-„   
„Yeah“ he interrupts me. God I wish he hadn’t done that. I can feel my knees going weak and I’m shaking so much my teeth are almost chattering. I can’t take it anymore, so I decide to give up on speeches before my jaw becomes dislocated.  
„I’m in love with you“ I spit out clumsily. I’m staring at the floor in front of my feet. As far as I can tell, there is no movement to my right. Maybe he fell asleep. Fuck, I can’t do this again. The silence is so endulging, there is literally no sound in the room except for the ticking of the clock. I want to say something, turn my head to him and look at him, clear my throat or anything but I’m literally frozen to the spot. Maybe he’s like a T-Rex and if I stay very very still-  
„Oh“ he says. His voice is a bit higher than usual, but still soft. I can’t interpret it for the life of me, but I’m still too tense to even turn my head. I don’t think I’ll ever leave this couch. We sit there in silence for another minute, until I can finally feel him moving. His hand is suddenly on my upper back and the shock of it brings me back to life. I literally jump away from his touch and stare at him with eyes open so wide it’s amazing my eyeballs haven’t fallen out. Honestly, this whole morning is making my body do things I didn’t think it was physically capable of. I’m sitting on the arm rest of the couch, staring at him like an idiot. He’s sitting there, leaning towards me, his hand still in the air from when I had hopped away from him. There’s something bizarre about him. I can’t tell what he’s feeling at all. Well, he doesn’t look disgusted or creeped out in the slightest, which is a plus.   
He says my name again and reaches the hand that is still in the air over to me once again, slowly this time so as not to startle me. He places it gently on my upper arm, conveniently right under where my sleeve ends. His skin is so hot it’s almost burning me but I could never complain about touching him. I swallow loudly and nearly cringe from the pain in my throat. I guess I had forgotten to swallow that entire time. We sit there like that for a moment. He’s just staring at me with his hand on my arm and I’m staring back at him. It’s not awkward but I’m so nervous and terrified that before I can tell what it is exactly, I can feel tears pricking at my eyes. Being the observer he is, Bertholdt catches this immediately and he practically tackles me. „No, no, no, don’t cry Reiner“ he half-shouts over and over again as he frantically pulls me fully onto the couch and wraps me up in a hug. As could be expected, that doesn’t help my situation in the slightest, because now not only am I silently crying into his shoulder, I am also hyperaware of his body against mine. Again.  
We sit there like that for a bit longer and in the end I decide to just enjoy the feeling of his arms around me and his smell and how his hair is tickling my cheek. He’s rubbing my back with one hand and the other is on my head, smoothing my hair down tenderly as he waits for me to calm down. When I finally manage to do so after what feels like years, I shift away from him slightly and look at his face. His hands are on my shoulders, keeping me in place. My heart has calmed down a bit. What’s done is done. There were a million scenarios I had pictured in my head that were so much worse than him hugging me like he always did, so whatever happens now will anyway not be terrible. I think.  
I’m pulled out of my thoughts by the sound of him chuckling. He hangs his head as his giggles pick up and a couple seconds later he’s lying back on the couch, clutching his sides and laughing hysterically. I know how Bertholdt laughs and this is not an amused sort of laugh. It seems more... giddy? I sit there, staring at him in bewilderment. He finally calms down and just stays how he is, looking up at me, with a huge grin on his face. His eyes are sparkling as if someone had shoved a night sky’s worth of stars into them, and I don’t think I’ve ever seen him this happy. I’m so lost.  
„What the fuck?“ I manage. I feel myself getting slowly irritated as it hits me that I just confessed to this guy and he fucking laughed his ass off right after I weeped into his shoulder like a little bitch. He gives another short laugh and sits up so he’s facing me again.  
„I figured you’d do it around my birthday“ he says. What? My face must be instinctively voicing my thoughts because he pulls me into a heavy hug. I’m so confused and it really pisses me off now. I squeeze my hands in between us and push him back. He looks shocked at the roughness of my action and his smile visibly slips. „What the fuck?“ I repeat and stress the last word. He sighs and looks at me.  
„Reiner, I’ve known you my whole life. You didn’t really think I wouldn’t notice?“   
My heart stops a little. My eyesight’s blurry and there’s little specks of white floating around in my vision. I try to say something but before I can, Bertl sighs again and shifts on the couch.  
„I was uncomfortable at first. I was really sad, and I kind of hoped you’d just get over it and it would be something we’d laugh about with your next girlfriend or something. I didn’t say anything, obviously, because I didn’t want to freak you out, but I was really worried all the same. I was scared I’d hurt you and stuff“ he explains. His voice is back to its normal self. I hear his words but I can’t react. I want to get up and go to clean the bowls. I’ve gotten my answer and the last thing I want is to start crying again. He puts his hand on my shoulder again and squeezes gently. He shifts again, almost excitedly, and leans towards me a bit, a huge smile growing steadily on his lips as he starts talking again,  
„But it got me thinking! It made me watch how you were acting to try to confirm my suspicions, and through that I started noticing all the little things you do! The looks you give me, how the way you talk to me is different than how you talk to our other friends, how you always look left then right when you enter a room, everything!“ His hand leaves my shoulder, and he pulls away a little bit, looking away in embarassment. „I know I shouldn’t have waited for you to say something, but it was just so nice to watch you get flustered and embarassed around me“. He looks back up at me and we stare at each other. Clearly, he’s waiting for me to say something, but I don’t know what to say. I don’t want to say ‚what the fuck’ for the third time, but I’m so fucking confused.  
„I don’t get it“ I manage. I guess it’s not what he was expecting, because his mouth opens, but as soon as the first trace of a sound escapes his throat it stops. He’s looking at me in disbelief, his eyes round and skipping from my one eye to the other, like he’s trying to make sure I’m serious. I match his gaze with a confused glare of my own, and just as it’s about to become ridiculous, he grabs my face in his hands firmly, almost violently, and leans in a little. My heart skips a beat but he stops about ten centimetres away from my face and looks into my eyes like he’s trying to melt my face off. I’m still too confused to react. What is he playing-  
„I’m in love with you too, dumbass“ he states. He states like it’s no big deal. Just like that. I stare at him for a good five seconds before I finally understand. But when I do understand, I don’t really. In all the scenario’s I played out in my head, not a single one ended like this. I open my mouth but I have no idea what to say. His hands loosen a bit and his thumb starts to brush along my cheek bone. His previously serious and exasperated expression melts into the sweetest, most sincere smile I had ever seen on anyone’s, let alone my Bertl’s, face. And then it clicks. My hands are moving before I can control them. They grab Bertholdt’s wrists and thrust them aside as I lunge at him and suffocate him in a hug. He hugs me back and we topple over onto the couch, with him shielded by my broad figure. I slip my face into the crook of his neck as he chuckles carelessly and strokes my back. I let the feelings flood in all at once – the excitement, the relief, the joy and the fucking love I have for this guy. I want to hate him for having played me the way he had, but at the same time I love him so much for it, because if he had done anything different I wouldn’t be here right now, with him tucked safely underneath me, turning his face to mine, nuzzling his nose against my temple. I lift myself onto my forearms and stare down at him. He has the most endearing adorable grin plastered onto his face. His skin is so soft, I can tell just by looking at him, and his hands are gripping my sides. I let myself get a good look, just in case this is all a dream. I scan over his eyelids, noting the one freckle under his left eyebrow and the way his eyelashes are short but darker than his hair. His face is perfectly symmetrical, his nose slightly hooked but elegant. My eyes slide sideways to his cheek bones as I lift a hand to caress the soft skin that covers them. I notice the way his smile is slowly slipping and I get scared that I did something wrong, but when I look back into his eyes, I notice they’re glancing repeatedly at my lips. I smile slightly, and start to lean in as slowly as I can muster in revenge for his toying with me for the past couple of months. When our faces are only seperated by a couple centimetres of air hot from our combined breaths, he lunges forward and I snap my eyes shut. His lips are warm and soft as if they’re coated in honey. I feel his hands on my sides sliding onto my back as he pulls me down and begins to move his mouth. I join him, our lips dancing delicately around each other, both of us exhibiting a tenderness we could only have ever shared with one another. I tilt my head to the side to deepen the kiss and Bertl responds by sucking on my bottom lip lovingly and wrapping his arms around me tighter. I register how surprisingly quiet my mind is, how focused I am on feeling and not thinking, and I let myself slip into that state again. I open my mouth slightly, pausing our kiss to silently ask for permission. Bertl complies, opening his mouth and pressing us together firmly, as our tongues softly meet. His sweet taste and the charming groan he makes stun my body into action and I grow hungry for him. I press my chest down onto him and tuck one of my hands under his head, threading my fingers through his soft hair as I speed my mouth up. I don’t recognize the deep sounds escaping my throat and soon enough it’s hard to decipher which ones are mine and which are Bertl’s.  
As much as I don’t want to, after a couple minutes of heated making out I pull back to catch my breath. I look at him and I can tell he needed the break too – his breathing is fast and erratic and his skin is covered by a thin layer of sweat. We stay like that just looking at each other. He smiles softly as one of his hands slides from my back to my chest and then makes it way up until he’s cupping my cheek and stroking it softly the way he was right after he told me he loved me too. I smile like a lunatic and blush madly at the thought. „Say it again,“ I plead, still grinning. His eyes liven up and suddenly he’s smiling one of his rare teeth-baring smiles and I feel so special knowing it’s directed at me. He lifts his head and tenderly kisses my lips before laying back again. „I love you, Reiner“ he says, his voice quiet but firm, and if I’m searching for doubt in his words, all I find are reassurance and determination and hearing it all in his voice and seeing the words spill out from between his lips, I can’t stop smiling. I can feel my face heating up and I hide against his neck again.  
We stay still for what seems like years. We’re both grinning widely and his hands are running over my back, sometimes his entire palm pressed to my shirt but sometimes just the tips of his fingers softly raking my muscle. I decide to return some of the affection he’s so willingly offering to me and I turn my head a little so I can place a small kiss on the side of his neck, near his shoulder. I hear his breath hitch and his body twitches lightly underneath me and it’s too amusing for me to be able to hold back a chuckle. He turns his face and plants a strong kiss into my hair, ignoring how much I enjoyed his reaction. I never imagined I could make Bertl react that way to me – and by that, I mean react the way I’ve been reacting to him touching me for the past 16 months or so. Curious, I move my mouth back to his neck, this time breathing out right before making contact. He shudders at my hot breath and when he feels my lips against his skin, suddenly his hand is in my hair, tugging at it gently. I continue laying kisses onto his neck, each time in a slightly different spot and each one lingering a little longer than the previous one. I can feel his breathing speed up as his chest pushes up into my own, but what I am not expecting is for him to suddenly shift and wrap his long, muscular legs around my waist, trapping me in a cage that I never want to escape. Feeling more confident against his lean body, I dare to open my mouth as I lay another kiss, this one more towards the front of his neck, where his flesh juts out to meet his chin. I give his neck a little lick – just a tiny flick of my tongue, providing generous physical contact but not allowing the sensation to be too focused. I concentrate on catching his response and boy, am I glad I did that. He gasps and then moans. His fingers twitch on my back and in my hair. The thighs pressed into my sides tighten and pull me down, so our clothed crotches meet. I gasp now too, but before I can become accustomed to the feeling of my growing erection pressed against his own, his body is moving with confidence that I’ve never seen in myself, let alone Bertl. His lips catch my earlobe. I lick his neck again. He scrapes my ear with his teeth, breathing deeply and releasing a throaty groan into my hair. I move in to keep working at his neck, but he pushes me up before I can reach his skin. His legs release my waist and I’m about to protest but I catch his eyes and I’m stunned. His gaze is burning with a fire I’ve never seen in his eyes before. He fists my shirt and slams me to the side of the couch, swiftly twisting us so he’s on top of me. His frame is fitted between my legs and he grinds down hard. I moan and grab his shoulders, allowing him to grind down again and again, watching my face the whole time. The heat his movements are sending in sparks through my body is so intense I need to close my eyes, but his voice saying my name brings me back. I look at him and for a second I’m almost frightened – he’s looking at me possessively, hungrily and I recognize his voice and gaze as dripping with lust. I realize that no matter how much time I may spend at the gym and how hard I may try to elicit moans from his chest and run my tongue along his neck, I belong to him and not the other way around. He fucking owns me, and the thought of it excites me so much I start to grind back against him viciously.

Having sex with Bertholdt was nothing like I imagined. Depending on my mood, I always imagined it as either slow and tender, with our eyes locked in a loving gaze as we desperately tried to make the moment last for as long as we could manage. Other days I’d imagine it as rough and fast. I’d picture his muscular body under mine and digging my nails into his skin as I made him my bitch. I was so so wrong.   
Firstly, I fell in love with Bertl so much harder as we had sex. I had unleashed a corner of his person that I don’t think even he knew existed. Like I said, it was clear early on that I was his to take however he wanted. By the time he slid off the couch and pulled me up after him, my knees were so weak and I was so turned on that I actually stumbled as my legs failed to support my body. I was sweating and shaking and I couldn’t take a full breath or even formulate a word. Bertl, however, was perfectly composed. His skin was burning hot and his pants were clearly hurting him, but he guided me to his bedroom after him, looking at me with a sly smirk and his eyes almost black with desire. He pushed me onto the bed and pulled his shirt off in one fluid movement, exposing his sweaty muscled torso. Having him take control and seeing the confidence practically exploding inside him appealed to me more than I could ever begin to explain. I had been a bit afraid that having sex with him would feel too much like having sex with my best friend and not enough like doing it with a man I was in love with, so the fact that he exposed this new side completely erased an image of a 10 year old Bertholdt from my mind. But despite him being controlling and possessive, he was also passionate and gentle. He kissed me and pressed against me and that’s how I knew that he desired to feel that it was me with him specifically rather than just feel someone’s body. It was the perfect balance between lust and love, and it was more than I could have ever dreamed of.  
Second of all, knowing each other’s bodies so well already from seeing each other naked in the gym showers and from the times when we’d wrestle or just lean against each other made the whole experience so much better. I knew the map of Bertl’s body and he knew mine, but now we got to explore each other not as bodies but as actions and reactions, as touches and feelings and we gave our relationship a kind of finality. We now knew each other as children, teenagers, adults, friends, best friends, and lovers.   
When we were both exhausted and lying on his bed in nothing but our boxers, side by side, I began to feel a little anxious. I was afraid that maybe he thought having sex was a bad idea and felt weird about it. Maybe to him it did feel like having sex with his best friend and he was about to tell me it was a mistake. I started fidgeting a little and he must have felt me tense up, despite the only physical contact between us at this point being our shoulders pressed together, because he turned his head to look at me. The crazed fire was long gone from his eyes, and he was just the way he had been before. He looked at me carefully, absorbing my presence and observing like he always did, and as exciting as the unknown side of Bertl was, I was so glad to see him back.   
„What’s wrong?“ he asked. He didn’t seem nervous at all. Maybe I would have been more reassured if he had been. Maybe I would have preferred for him to be scared that I had changed my mind, too. I turned to lay on my side, facing him, with one arm bent at the elbow and my cheek resting on my wrist.  
„Did you mean it all, Bertl?“ I questioned, my voice shaking and quiet. His eyes widened and he jumped at me, crashing his lips to mine in a firm kiss before retreating only slightly. His legs lay flat on the bed but his torso was twisted so he was leaning on one arm and facing me. His face loitered a couple centimetres away from my face, which had been livened by the blush his kiss inspired. The worried look had never left his face so I waited to see what he would say.  
„Of course I meant it Reiner!“ he exclaimed, „I would never play you like that!“  
Finally reassured by his words, I let a sly smirk slip onto my face as I retorted, „As if you haven’t been doing that for the past few months, jackass!“ He laughed light-heartedly and turned to lay on his side in the same position as me, with his arm bent to support his head. Our faces were as close as our head-rests would let us and we both just smiled at each other.  
„Thank you, Reiner“ he said quietly.  
„For what?“  
„Making this the best birthday ever.“

**Author's Note:**

> Thanks for reading guys! This is my first fan fiction ever so I hope you all enjoyed it and if you have any suggestions please leave them in the comments! I never find enough reibert fan fiction so I decided to take matters into my own hands and contribute to the forum :) Enjoy and I hope to be writing some more soon!


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